Prayers are Answered

Last week was my first week of watching overlap of Flynn 4 months old and Will 6 weeks old, and of course my darling Maxine. Wednesday was the first day. Honestly, I couldn't sleep the night before.

'What if they are hungry at the same time?'

'What if one cries and wakes the other up?'

'What if Maxine freaks out about all these babies?'

'What if I lose my patience with Maxine because I'm stressed?'

Oh man, the list was endless. I had already prayed lots and lots for the babysitting to go well. I asked Seth to say a quick prayer for me for extra comfort around midnight. I fell asleep almost immediately after that prayer.

Wednesday morning, before Flynn arrived, Maxine and I said our breakfast prayer together. I asked the Lord for extra charity, patience, and kindness. I told him I was very worried and to help the babies be easily soothed today.

At 8 am Flynn arrived and it went well, like normal. We know him, he knows us, we have fun, we all love each other. It's not difficult with Flynn at all.

Will would come at 12:15. Flynn gets picked up at 4. Not a huge deal right? That's what I kept telling myself.

I really wanted Flynn to be asleep when my friend brought Will over. I knew she would be sad about leaving him for the first time, and I didn't want her to feel like she was leaving him at a daycare with 9 million babies. I prayed, this is dumb, I know, for Flynn to sleep when she brought him. Sure enough, he crashed at noon. Not only was he asleep when Will arrived, but he slept long enough for me to spend alone time with Will and Maxine.

Will ate, and slept. He hardly cried at all when I laid him down. Flynn woke up while Will was sleeping and ate. I played with Flynn. He took another small cat nap before he got picked up. Will woke up and ate. Flynn woke up and was picked up.

The whole time Maxine played with me. Or helped me with their binkies or handed me bottles. She was great.

When Will got picked up at 6:15 ish. I finally relaxed. We did it. I mean to say, the Lord, Maxine, and I did it.  We watched both babies, had patience, love, kindness, and gentleness. Really truly, I know it was because of all the prayers. Everything worked out perfectly. It is no coincidence they slept so well on different schedules, ate on different schedules, played well, cried minimally, etc.

The next two days went the same way. The babies were up more at the same time each day, but really only overlapping about 45 minutes total. Maxine continued to be my little helper and pal. I felt like her and I were in this together.

It's not like Seth got a job, or we won a bunch of money, or some other huge thing. It's all the little prayers that were answered that were weighing so heavy on my heart. It's the answers to those little prayers that build up my faith so I know that at some point Seth will get a job, for example.

Anyway, I guess this is just a testimony that prayers are answered. It doesn't mean it will go perfectly, but our worries are heard.

I can watch two babies at the same time. We will all survive.

Toddlers

Maxine is now 15 months old. She's smart as a whip, cute as a button, funny as a clown, and naughty as a toddler.

Nah, she really is a good girl, but some days are harder than others. Example, yesterday we had FHE at the Temple grounds. We first ate dinner in the large field. She kept going into the street and we'd tell her, "If you go in the street you have to sit in your car seat alone." She'd smile at us and then walking down into the street. We would go show her what is the street and what is the grass (she knows what grass is) and blah blah blah, you know the parenting lines, well she'd end up in her car seat. This happened three times. Stinker.

Anyone have a favorite parenting book on this stage of life? We need more tricks/strategies to add to our repartee.

Forget Not

I encourage all to watch this video. What wonderful reminders and encouragement President Uchtdorf gives us in this talk. Enjoy.

Dinner

Some days are hard. Sometimes 8 hours can feel like 36 hours. Sometimes I miss Seth, human interaction, a social life, even TV. On those days, the one thing that brings me comfort, joy, a sense of purpose, is cooking.

Last Thursday I was having one of these such days. Everything was hard, painstaking, and sad. Poor baby Flynn (the child I tend during the day) was having a hard time. I didn't know what to do for him, how to help him stop crying. Maxine was (and still is) cutting teeth, zoned out, drooling, and tired. Her first response was to yell or whine. After the 11th time telling her calmly, "I don't understand that, can you ask a nicer way?" I thought, 'She's never going to get it.'

As most Mom's feel at certain times, I was overwhelmed. When both the kids went down for a nap, I had a moment of peace. At 10:30 I decided to start my meal in the crock pot. I was trying this new recipe, Brown Sugar and Balsamic Glazed Pork. The first step was to rub spices on the loin and let it cook for 6-8 hours. As I focused on the rub, the loin, and getting it covered, my mind was calm. I had no worries. I was able to completely sink into the task at hand. The emotional morning, the sad children, the constant needs, my lack of help, was forgotten.

When the rub was appropriately adorned on the loin, I retired the meat to the crock pot to cook. I continued to be at peace as I cleaned up. My mind drifted from one calm thought to another as I thoroughly cleaned and scrubbed the counter, utensils, plates, my hands, etc.

With no better timing, I hear little voices waking up as I finish drying off. Yet, I'm happy to see them. I've had my moment of peace and tranquility, provided by the loin.

As the day progresses, difficulties still arise. Yet, all the while, I smell the pork loin cooking. The cracked pepper and ground sage help me remember I did something, I'm making something today.

As late afternoon draws closer, I start to think about the glaze. When both kids again take an afternoon nap. I start producing the sauce. Brown sugar, balsamic vinegar, soy sauce, many of my favorite tastes mixed together to create a satisfactory glaze for the happiness bringing pork. Again, I'm creating. My only concern in that moment is perfecting the sauce. Trying it, adding a little more vinegar, tasting it again, adding some water. Tasting it again, and then again because now it's perfect.

When little voices sound, it's wonderful. Flynn gets picked up at 4:00. Maxine and I play outside, go over to my in-laws, watch Baby Signing Time, do mom and daughter activities. Yet, I can smell the pork. It's almost ready to turn to warm instead of low. I add the glaze on during the last hour of cooking, at intermediate times. I can't help put peek in on it as I near the kitchen. I just want to make sure it's alright.

As it turns to evening, I decide upon some sides. I have left over potatoes from Potato Soup a few days ago. Should I make real mashed potatoes? How about some green beans with pepper and salt? Those seem like adequate sides to serve with the master pork loin. As Maxine eats her peaches in her seat, I boil the potatoes. It doesn't even matter that I burn my finger as I drain the potatoes. I'm creating after all, it's not a no risk activity.

As I bathe Maxine, I hurry back and forth to the kitchen to lay the food out in a presentable manner. I nibble a little at the pork, try the potatoes once or twice, all the while, warning myself to wait.

Seth walks in the door at 7:15. I'm so excited to see him, but perhaps a little more excited for him to see the pork loin, potatoes, and green beans. I hold back my food excitement and ask about his day. He puts his bag down, puts his shoes away, picks up Maxine, and after what feels like an eternity, saunters over to the kitchen. "Looks good, babe." I can barely hold it in, "I made real mashed potatoes too." I'm awarded a smile and some more verbal accolades.

I'm terribly anxious to start dinner. I've been creating this meal since the morning. I want to enjoy it, I want Seth to enjoy it. Does it hurt he turns on the TV as we sit? A little, though I mourn more for the shared attention the food will receive.

I try extremely hard not to explain the recipe, tell how long I've thought about the dish, complement it too much. As I eat, I just feel a staggering sense of accomplishment. This is what my day was. I created this. The pork falls apart on my plate, I praise myself for starting it when I did. After a spoonful of mashed potatoes I wonder if I perhaps mashed them too much, yet they are still delicious. I share the pork glaze with my green beans. It's a perfect match.

When my plate is clean, I sit back and tell Seth, "You know, making this dinner was the happiest part of my day." He smiles and grants me another compliment, as if my comment was reaching for one. He doesn't understand it actually was the happiest part of my day.

How could he?

I wonder what I'll make tomorrow.

Sisters!

As you probably already know, we're having another baby February 4th, and it will be a girl! We're so excited for her to join our family. I'm way excited for Maxine. She's so lucky to have a sister so close in age.

This pregnancy has been completely different from Maxine. I wasn't sick at all. With Maxine I threw up all the time everyday for weeks and if I wasn't throwing up, I felt like I needed to.

I've been wanting the saltiest, unhealthiest foods. I'm loving hamburgers, fries, fry sauce, pizza, and potato chips, seriously my mouth is watering right now and it's 10 am.

Also, I don't feel super ugly. This is a great thing.

All in all, it has been a good pregnancy so far. So good that I am continually forgetting I'm pregnant. Once this little one starts kicking me it will be hard to forget, but so far she's been pretty quiet.

We have no names picked out or on a list. So, she'll probably be another hospital named baby, but don't worry, her name will be perfect for her.

We're 18 weeks along tomorrow and I'm barely showing. I'm just excited to get ready for her and meet her come February. Yay for sisters! Yay for daughters!!

Does Maxine look excited or what? She's so cute. 

My Grandpa Bunch

Five years ago, I lost my Grandma Jean. She was the Grandma I grew up with. I spent the night at her house most weekends. She taught me plethora of card games. We watched British Comedies together. Her Snoopy cookie jar was always full of delicious treats. She'd make me warm tea because it wasn't breaking the Word of Wisdom reasoned it was "caffeine free tea."

She was the first person I lost that I loved and knew deeply. My heart still aches for her. Sometimes I get a reminder of her so strong that it brings me to tears. I believe in Heaven. I know I'll see her again. But I still very much miss her.

My Grandparents here in Utah, my mom's parents, and my last living Grandparents, have been a support to me my whole life, but especially the last 7 years I have lived here.They invite me for dinners. Let me come spend the night to get away from life. We walk the garden. Have long talks. Watch movies. Eat spoon fudge. And laugh, laugh, laugh.

Recently, my Grandpa Bunch was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease. This disease is terminal and doctors say he has 1-3 years left on this earth.

I'm not ready to lose another loved one. It's very hard. So, I won't think about it. I will think of the funny sayings, the unselfishness, the grumpy attitude, the warm heart, and the strong testimony. And I will know, no matter when he leaves this earth, I will see him again and he'll always be my Grandpa Bunch.

Love you Grandpa.

Maxine's Little Buddy

Maxine has a great friend here in Chicago. Her little buddy Oliver. They do everything together.

They go for rides.

They climb and crawl.

They wear raincoats for the first time.

They destroy sand castles.

They bother each other.

Oh friends. We'll miss you Oliver!