I think I'm done blogging for awhile. I don't have the time anymore and there are so many other things I want to get done when I do have time. So sorry followers...all 5 of you. I'm taking a break, but you can catch me on Facebook. :)

Nana B and Papa

My parents were able to come out to visit. My mom got to come out for a long time, my Dad only a week. I am so grateful they came out to see us. 

Maxine immediately took to her Papa. She wanted him to play, chase, and dance with her constantly. My poor Dad was exhausted after spending a day with her. While at my grandparents house, Maxine was dancing around all of us. She went over to my Dad and said, "dance!" He promptly started to dance while sitting in his chair. She said, "feet, down". There is no mistaking her message there. He stood and started dancing with her. She also didn't want anyone to get her out of her crib upon waking up but, "Papa!!" 

Although she loves her Papa, she loves her Nana B too. She gets spoiled by her Nana B. It's so fun to see. She calls her B. If my mom goes to the bathroom, goes outside to make a phone call, or leaves the room, Maxine is immediately on the lookout, "Beee??" 

My girls are so blessed to have such wonderful Grandparents on both sides of the family. We've been so blessed to live close to their Mimi and Gimpa and to have had this visit from Papa and Nana B.  

Ruby

Ruby Lynn Atkisson

Born February 12th, 2012, 9:32 AM. 

Weight 7lbs 14oz

Height 18.5in

We love her.

Pregnant For a Few More Weeks

I am now 37 weeks pregnant. Almost done.

I'm getting excited to meet our newest little one. I keep pulling out her little 'hospital outfit' and looking at it, imaging a tiny body inside. Even though Maxine has no idea what's about to happen, I'm so excited for her to meet her sister. What a wonderful moment it will be to hold both my girls and introduce them to each other. I know they have met before, and this reunion on earth will be great. I'm excited to see Seth with a newborn again. He's such a wonderful father.

I'm dilated to a 2, but that doesn't mean a thing. I hope she doesn't come too late, but whenever she's ready, I'm ready.

Oh man, two kids is going to be tough, but I'm excited. Bring it on babies.

First Snow

It finally snowed enough to stick here in Utah. So we (mostly Seth) promptly dressed up Maxine in her winter gear then took her outside on Sunday to see what this thing called winter is all about.

She liked it.

Seth even took her for a quick wagon ride. He's such a great Dad. Also, I love this stage of terrible pictures. I can't ever get her to look at the camera or smile anymore. Oh well.

Birth Control

I saw a lady walking into the pediatricians office today with three blonde haired girls that all looked under 5, and a baby in a carseat. I told Maxine, "Someone needs to tell her about birth control."

Then I realized, some people probably think that about me.


Less than two months till my due date, crazy.

A New American Gothic

I have two nieces that live in Phoenix. I wish they lived closer. After bugging Bree for pictures of the girls for a month, she finally posted a stream of pictures taken consecutively trying to get a good one. Her plight was unsuccessful in her eyes, but not in mine. I am convinced she has haphazardly taken the best photo in history.

I'll now share it for your benefit.

Now, let's compare this picture to a famous American art piece.

Does anyone else see how amazing this is?

I love these girls.

Pin - interest Madness

For the first 4 or so months of joining pinterest, I called it pin-interest. It wasn't until one day, my sister-in-law said, "I love that you call it that." I had no idea what she was talking about, to which she replied, "I'm pretty sure it's pin-terest, not pin-interest." Immediately, I thought of all the people I had conversed with about the site, for months, and how no one mentioned I was pronouncing it wrong. Humiliation. At least I have Bree in my life.

Well, I've done a statistical analysis of the effects of pinterest on my well-being. The report is finalized. There is a high correlation between time spent on pinterest and weight gain. Now, some of you might be thinking, 'Yeah, but you're pregnant...that's why you're gaining weight.' To those I say, "Way to be critical thinkers, but even so, the data does not lie." Even factoring in the pregnancy, pinterest has caused weight gain above and beyond the acceptable amount according to the Body Mass Index for one Jackie Atkisson. (Well, I'm exaggerating, but I feel like it - blah).

It makes me hungry, ok? There are so many good recipes on there. I've gotten a few winners, and a few losers as well. But, I try to stay away from the dessert pins.

Not only is this website crammed with many great ideas. It also has some completely ridiculous/hilarious recipes. 

Let's take a look at a few.

This is brownie batter, poured over oreos, which are layered on cookie dough, which is then served with ice cream.

I'm a little disappointed in this recipe. I like to have peanut butter, cream cheese, and caramel, with my ice cream, brownies, cookie, and oreo bars. 

Here's another doosey:

Snickers, cheesecake, caramel cookie

Let me just run down the list of ingredients for these, ah hem, cookies. 2 cups chopped snickers bars, graham crackers, a butt-load of sugar, butter, 2 packages cream cheese, and Hersey's caramel topping. Pretty much any of those things on their own are delicious, so let's add them all together! And then be diagnosed with Diabetes!

I've seen a pin for Homemade Nutter Butter Bars. Only three ingredients! One of which is, yes, you have it, ACTUAL NUTTER BUTTER BARS. In my old lady English accent voice, "Let's make homemade nutter butter bars! First things first. Get in your car and drive to the store to buy Nabisco Nutter Butters. Then come home, crush them and add a bunch more calories. Bake them and wha-laa! Isn't homemade soooo much tastier than store bought? Quite so."

I have to make a dessert for our Ward Christmas party tomorrow. I think what I'll do is grab my mixing bowl. Throw in grandulated sugar, butter, caramel, chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, peanut butter, powdered sugar, cream cheese, brownie batter, nutter butters, oreos, ice cream, hot fudge, whip cream, cherries, and some graham crackers. Mix it up good. Maybe throw in an egg to make it healthy. Bake and then Wha-La! Dessert!

Then of course I'll have to pin it, on pin-interest. 

Grandm...I mean, Nana B

My Mom, who recently changed her Grandma name from Grandma to Nana B, came out for Thanksgiving. I'm going to be completely honest here, I don't think there has ever or will ever be a better Grandma. She'll play with Maxine all...alllll.....alllllll day long. Anything Maxine wants to do, she's happy to do it. She'll swing her in a toy bucket, for.ev.er. She'll play hide and seek, for hours. She'll chase her, until both of them are exhausted. I've never seen anything like it. She genuinely loves to just play with Maxine.

Maxine doesn't know how good she has it. Or does she....

At the restaurant, when my mom left for the salad bar, Maxine frantically called for her.

When Nana B has to use the restroom, Maxine points at where she was, yells, and looks at me like, "How could you let her leave?" 

Maxine freely gives her hugs and kisses. 

She'll snuggle on her and hold her hand while she relaxes. 

So, I'm pretty sure the affection is mutual. We are sure lucky to have Nana B in our lives. Good thing she's headed out in February for the next little one. It's not good for anyone to go too far in between Nana B visits.

I hope I can be as great of a Grandma as Nana B is. Love you Mom.

Baking with Mom

I grew up baking cookies with my Dad. I'd sit on the counter and help him add the sugar, taste the dough, add the butter, taste the dough, add some chocolate chips, taste the dough. I was a super big help, obviously.

I cherish those memories of making cookies with my Dad. He was always so patient to let me help and make up jobs for me to do. I'm grateful for the memories he gave me by spending 20 minutes every now and then making cookies with me.

Today, I wanted some chocolate, well, everyday I do, so I decided to make brownies. As Maxine ran around my legs I thought, perhaps it's not too early to start this tradition with my own kids. I pulled her up on the counter and had her help me.

She helped tip the sugar measuring cup over. She helped get butter all over her pants. She held an egg for a moment before it was ready to be cracked. She helped almost grab a nearby knife. So, we have room for improvement, but all in all, it was a fun moment for her and I.

At the very end I gave her the spatula to lick. She'll probably be wanting to help me again.

Communication

I have loved Maxine since I found out I was pregnant. She's been the light of my life through all her stages.

With that said, I have been having so much fun with her lately! It is amazing how all of a sudden she can communicate with me. We can have little conversations, tease each other, even have little jokes. I love seeing her nod or shake her head at my questions, voicing her opinion. She's just so big now.

Seth watched her over lunch so I could go to the dentist and he asked before he left, "What should I make her for lunch?" I gave him a few ideas and then remembered, "You can just ask her what she wants." It's wonderful!!

I'm just starting to feel what it's like to have a daughter and not just a baby girl. And I love it!!!

Oh my little Maxine, you're growing so big.

Prayers are Answered

Last week was my first week of watching overlap of Flynn 4 months old and Will 6 weeks old, and of course my darling Maxine. Wednesday was the first day. Honestly, I couldn't sleep the night before.

'What if they are hungry at the same time?'

'What if one cries and wakes the other up?'

'What if Maxine freaks out about all these babies?'

'What if I lose my patience with Maxine because I'm stressed?'

Oh man, the list was endless. I had already prayed lots and lots for the babysitting to go well. I asked Seth to say a quick prayer for me for extra comfort around midnight. I fell asleep almost immediately after that prayer.

Wednesday morning, before Flynn arrived, Maxine and I said our breakfast prayer together. I asked the Lord for extra charity, patience, and kindness. I told him I was very worried and to help the babies be easily soothed today.

At 8 am Flynn arrived and it went well, like normal. We know him, he knows us, we have fun, we all love each other. It's not difficult with Flynn at all.

Will would come at 12:15. Flynn gets picked up at 4. Not a huge deal right? That's what I kept telling myself.

I really wanted Flynn to be asleep when my friend brought Will over. I knew she would be sad about leaving him for the first time, and I didn't want her to feel like she was leaving him at a daycare with 9 million babies. I prayed, this is dumb, I know, for Flynn to sleep when she brought him. Sure enough, he crashed at noon. Not only was he asleep when Will arrived, but he slept long enough for me to spend alone time with Will and Maxine.

Will ate, and slept. He hardly cried at all when I laid him down. Flynn woke up while Will was sleeping and ate. I played with Flynn. He took another small cat nap before he got picked up. Will woke up and ate. Flynn woke up and was picked up.

The whole time Maxine played with me. Or helped me with their binkies or handed me bottles. She was great.

When Will got picked up at 6:15 ish. I finally relaxed. We did it. I mean to say, the Lord, Maxine, and I did it.  We watched both babies, had patience, love, kindness, and gentleness. Really truly, I know it was because of all the prayers. Everything worked out perfectly. It is no coincidence they slept so well on different schedules, ate on different schedules, played well, cried minimally, etc.

The next two days went the same way. The babies were up more at the same time each day, but really only overlapping about 45 minutes total. Maxine continued to be my little helper and pal. I felt like her and I were in this together.

It's not like Seth got a job, or we won a bunch of money, or some other huge thing. It's all the little prayers that were answered that were weighing so heavy on my heart. It's the answers to those little prayers that build up my faith so I know that at some point Seth will get a job, for example.

Anyway, I guess this is just a testimony that prayers are answered. It doesn't mean it will go perfectly, but our worries are heard.

I can watch two babies at the same time. We will all survive.

Toddlers

Maxine is now 15 months old. She's smart as a whip, cute as a button, funny as a clown, and naughty as a toddler.

Nah, she really is a good girl, but some days are harder than others. Example, yesterday we had FHE at the Temple grounds. We first ate dinner in the large field. She kept going into the street and we'd tell her, "If you go in the street you have to sit in your car seat alone." She'd smile at us and then walking down into the street. We would go show her what is the street and what is the grass (she knows what grass is) and blah blah blah, you know the parenting lines, well she'd end up in her car seat. This happened three times. Stinker.

Anyone have a favorite parenting book on this stage of life? We need more tricks/strategies to add to our repartee.

Forget Not

I encourage all to watch this video. What wonderful reminders and encouragement President Uchtdorf gives us in this talk. Enjoy.

Dinner

Some days are hard. Sometimes 8 hours can feel like 36 hours. Sometimes I miss Seth, human interaction, a social life, even TV. On those days, the one thing that brings me comfort, joy, a sense of purpose, is cooking.

Last Thursday I was having one of these such days. Everything was hard, painstaking, and sad. Poor baby Flynn (the child I tend during the day) was having a hard time. I didn't know what to do for him, how to help him stop crying. Maxine was (and still is) cutting teeth, zoned out, drooling, and tired. Her first response was to yell or whine. After the 11th time telling her calmly, "I don't understand that, can you ask a nicer way?" I thought, 'She's never going to get it.'

As most Mom's feel at certain times, I was overwhelmed. When both the kids went down for a nap, I had a moment of peace. At 10:30 I decided to start my meal in the crock pot. I was trying this new recipe, Brown Sugar and Balsamic Glazed Pork. The first step was to rub spices on the loin and let it cook for 6-8 hours. As I focused on the rub, the loin, and getting it covered, my mind was calm. I had no worries. I was able to completely sink into the task at hand. The emotional morning, the sad children, the constant needs, my lack of help, was forgotten.

When the rub was appropriately adorned on the loin, I retired the meat to the crock pot to cook. I continued to be at peace as I cleaned up. My mind drifted from one calm thought to another as I thoroughly cleaned and scrubbed the counter, utensils, plates, my hands, etc.

With no better timing, I hear little voices waking up as I finish drying off. Yet, I'm happy to see them. I've had my moment of peace and tranquility, provided by the loin.

As the day progresses, difficulties still arise. Yet, all the while, I smell the pork loin cooking. The cracked pepper and ground sage help me remember I did something, I'm making something today.

As late afternoon draws closer, I start to think about the glaze. When both kids again take an afternoon nap. I start producing the sauce. Brown sugar, balsamic vinegar, soy sauce, many of my favorite tastes mixed together to create a satisfactory glaze for the happiness bringing pork. Again, I'm creating. My only concern in that moment is perfecting the sauce. Trying it, adding a little more vinegar, tasting it again, adding some water. Tasting it again, and then again because now it's perfect.

When little voices sound, it's wonderful. Flynn gets picked up at 4:00. Maxine and I play outside, go over to my in-laws, watch Baby Signing Time, do mom and daughter activities. Yet, I can smell the pork. It's almost ready to turn to warm instead of low. I add the glaze on during the last hour of cooking, at intermediate times. I can't help put peek in on it as I near the kitchen. I just want to make sure it's alright.

As it turns to evening, I decide upon some sides. I have left over potatoes from Potato Soup a few days ago. Should I make real mashed potatoes? How about some green beans with pepper and salt? Those seem like adequate sides to serve with the master pork loin. As Maxine eats her peaches in her seat, I boil the potatoes. It doesn't even matter that I burn my finger as I drain the potatoes. I'm creating after all, it's not a no risk activity.

As I bathe Maxine, I hurry back and forth to the kitchen to lay the food out in a presentable manner. I nibble a little at the pork, try the potatoes once or twice, all the while, warning myself to wait.

Seth walks in the door at 7:15. I'm so excited to see him, but perhaps a little more excited for him to see the pork loin, potatoes, and green beans. I hold back my food excitement and ask about his day. He puts his bag down, puts his shoes away, picks up Maxine, and after what feels like an eternity, saunters over to the kitchen. "Looks good, babe." I can barely hold it in, "I made real mashed potatoes too." I'm awarded a smile and some more verbal accolades.

I'm terribly anxious to start dinner. I've been creating this meal since the morning. I want to enjoy it, I want Seth to enjoy it. Does it hurt he turns on the TV as we sit? A little, though I mourn more for the shared attention the food will receive.

I try extremely hard not to explain the recipe, tell how long I've thought about the dish, complement it too much. As I eat, I just feel a staggering sense of accomplishment. This is what my day was. I created this. The pork falls apart on my plate, I praise myself for starting it when I did. After a spoonful of mashed potatoes I wonder if I perhaps mashed them too much, yet they are still delicious. I share the pork glaze with my green beans. It's a perfect match.

When my plate is clean, I sit back and tell Seth, "You know, making this dinner was the happiest part of my day." He smiles and grants me another compliment, as if my comment was reaching for one. He doesn't understand it actually was the happiest part of my day.

How could he?

I wonder what I'll make tomorrow.

Sisters!

As you probably already know, we're having another baby February 4th, and it will be a girl! We're so excited for her to join our family. I'm way excited for Maxine. She's so lucky to have a sister so close in age.

This pregnancy has been completely different from Maxine. I wasn't sick at all. With Maxine I threw up all the time everyday for weeks and if I wasn't throwing up, I felt like I needed to.

I've been wanting the saltiest, unhealthiest foods. I'm loving hamburgers, fries, fry sauce, pizza, and potato chips, seriously my mouth is watering right now and it's 10 am.

Also, I don't feel super ugly. This is a great thing.

All in all, it has been a good pregnancy so far. So good that I am continually forgetting I'm pregnant. Once this little one starts kicking me it will be hard to forget, but so far she's been pretty quiet.

We have no names picked out or on a list. So, she'll probably be another hospital named baby, but don't worry, her name will be perfect for her.

We're 18 weeks along tomorrow and I'm barely showing. I'm just excited to get ready for her and meet her come February. Yay for sisters! Yay for daughters!!

Does Maxine look excited or what? She's so cute. 

My Grandpa Bunch

Five years ago, I lost my Grandma Jean. She was the Grandma I grew up with. I spent the night at her house most weekends. She taught me plethora of card games. We watched British Comedies together. Her Snoopy cookie jar was always full of delicious treats. She'd make me warm tea because it wasn't breaking the Word of Wisdom reasoned it was "caffeine free tea."

She was the first person I lost that I loved and knew deeply. My heart still aches for her. Sometimes I get a reminder of her so strong that it brings me to tears. I believe in Heaven. I know I'll see her again. But I still very much miss her.

My Grandparents here in Utah, my mom's parents, and my last living Grandparents, have been a support to me my whole life, but especially the last 7 years I have lived here.They invite me for dinners. Let me come spend the night to get away from life. We walk the garden. Have long talks. Watch movies. Eat spoon fudge. And laugh, laugh, laugh.

Recently, my Grandpa Bunch was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease. This disease is terminal and doctors say he has 1-3 years left on this earth.

I'm not ready to lose another loved one. It's very hard. So, I won't think about it. I will think of the funny sayings, the unselfishness, the grumpy attitude, the warm heart, and the strong testimony. And I will know, no matter when he leaves this earth, I will see him again and he'll always be my Grandpa Bunch.

Love you Grandpa.

Maxine's Little Buddy

Maxine has a great friend here in Chicago. Her little buddy Oliver. They do everything together.

They go for rides.

They climb and crawl.

They wear raincoats for the first time.

They destroy sand castles.

They bother each other.

Oh friends. We'll miss you Oliver!

I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus

This morning our apartment was loud. It was filled to the ceiling with the yelling of a one year old. Perhaps her teeth hurt. Or she was tired. Maybe she had no reason at all. Whatever was going on in her head was making her frustrated and the only way to communicate that with us was to yell, loudly, and over and over.

Seth said calmly to her, "Maxine, we do not yell in the house."

I told her, "Maxine, if you keep yelling you will have to lay in your bed to calm down."

Unfortunately, she's 1 and those statements, nor time out, worked. Not that the next one did either.

I'm making Seth's lunch and she's standing next to me yelling. I picked her up and thought, 'Why is yelling so bad besides it annoys us? What is a better reason to not yell?' Then I instantly thought of love. I told her, "Maxine, Dad doesn't yell at Mom. Mom doesn't yell at Dad. Neither of us yell at you. And it's because we love each other."

Then it became even more clear why we don't yell. "Maxine. Heavenly Father and Jesus don't yell at us or each other. They love us! I want to be like Jesus. Don't you? One way is not to yell." The Children's Hymn 'I'm Trying to be Like Jesus' popped into my head and I started singing it to her. Seth soon joined in too. I got a little teary singing, "I'm trying to love as He did, in all that I do and say."

Maxine looked bewildered at both of us singing. I gave her a hug and kiss and set her down.


Then she yelled.

Well, at least I'm more committed to using a quiet voice.

Oh parenting.

Two and a Half Weeks. Incredible.

Summer, why do you go by so fast when I wait all year long for you. 

Life, why are you flying by when I just want you to slow down!

Maxine, you're so big, it's crazy, will you stay little for a bit longer?

Law School, you, my dear, can hurry along at double time. Thank you. 

Two and a half weeks!? I only have less than three weeks living here in Chicago!? I can't believe how fast it has gone. I mean, when do we ever? I love you Chicago, please, don't make me leave. I am excited to get back to Utah and see my friends and family. I have missed them. I'm excited for Seth to finish Law School and start his career helping the innocent and protecting the weak. ;) Yet, I want to stay here a bit longer. We've made a home here in this sublet apartment full of another's things. We've made friends. We have our favorite restaurants, places to go, things to see. I'll always treasure this summer and the wonderful experience it has been for our little family. I'm sad Maxine won't be able to remember her time here in the Windy City, but perhaps we'll be back someday. 

When we get to Utah, we're moving into a new apartment. That's something exciting! A new home again. If we can make this our home for 10 weeks, then for sure I can make our new place a home for at least 9 months. 

Seth will go back to school, although his semester will be a lot easier. He'll have an internship with the SEC in SLC, what great experience for him.

I'll start watching my neighbors cute little baby boy when she goes back to teaching. 

I'll still have my darling Maxine. 

It will be great and fun and comfortable and fine.

But it won't be Chicago. I'm glad I got to come here, even if it just was for the summer. 

Here's to new beginnings in 2.5 weeks! Here's to new experiences! Here's to life!!!